How exactly does Starbucks, a Seattle based coffee franchise constructed with all the precision of a Swiss watch, achieve non-profitability?

Here’s the breakdown, according to our readers email and comments.

Kids:
14 yr old summer school knuckleheads, or any variety of Ft. Hamilton student for that matter, occupying 1/3 – 1/2 of your full on retail space for an entire day, without buying anything while scaring away your core demographic – doesn’t help your bottom line.

As a matter of fact, it’s what all those cantankerous mom ‘n’ pops call ‘loitering,’ and for good reason.

Customer loyalty (not):
Sitting with a cup from a Venti non-fat latte that you’ve had since the 91st street Starbucks first opened, while siphoning free coffee off the newer Starbucks (clearly abusing the 50 cent – free refill privileged) is not customer loyalty.

How about, instead of encouraging free-loaders with free/.50 refills (that no other competitor is offering), you stop charging for internet access, which, in turn, will encourage paying customers (read: yuppies) who’ll gladly lay down 5 bucks for some pink coffee whipped creme laden float in exchange for free unlimited wi-fi?

Kids (reprised):

Take the party back to mom ‘n’ dad’s house, please.

“Touchy-feely wanna-be Park-Slope skater-dudes in cigarette leg jeans — decked out in New Found Glory or ‘bedazzled’ Ed Hardy tees — taking up prime seating while they bemoan their teenage ‘Boys Don’t Cry‘ bullshit, while the only two girls flirt with Lindsay lesbianism and talk endlessly about all the brands of Marlboro they’ve been smoking, like, since, ‘forever.’ All the while pretending to grapple with whatever angst their prepubescent MTV, Real World, Gossip Girls, HILLS (ugh), sense of decorum has taught them.”

Let’s think about this for a moment, shall we, Starbucks?

Your piping in Harry Connick jr/ Michael Bubble elevator music for a bunch of 16 yr old thug-gangasta chicks, who’re talking about how they just “laid out some cunt” at some other thug-gangsta’s house-party because, “she was straight up ho.”

While gangsta-chicky (#1) tells her other ‘friend,’ Gangsta-chicky (#2) about her pregnant friend who’s on her 7th child: ‘Yo, yuck, I told her to get rid of it!’

[obligatory cigarette break]

“Yo, I said that was like rape even if it was your cousin!”

‘Radults’:

Readers ask us not to forget that thin, anemic looking ‘Devil Wears Prada‘ chick, who could easily pass for Paris Hilton’s slightly more annoying twin, as she goes on about her, and her equally vapid, yet just as well accessorized, zombie of a ‘girlfriend’ who are thinking of launching a ‘hip-hop’ label.

Even though it’s common knowledge to anyone in the hip-hop industry that the only role a rich, white, and, more importantly, ignorant — to the point of not understanding thing one about hip-hop outside of which pair of $600 sunglasses your wanna-be ‘Making the Band’ version of Eric B. and Rakim are going to wear for product placement — is being the meat in a Snoop Dog sandwich.

Product:
At the end of the day, the coffee just isn’t enough of a draw.

Burnt, dark, and indistinct.

(photo courtesy flikr)

When fellow blogger Left in Bay Ridge posted about another stabbing, we just assumed it was yet another serial hotel hit at the infamous Gregory Hotel.

So imagine our surprise when we learned this wasn’t our run of the mill Gregory/Queen of the Hotel Hits stabbing!

This week, three would-be robbers who’d been boosting everything from designer jeans from Image sportswear, to cases of Red Bull from a local deli, finally met their match when trying to heist two thousand dollars worth of cigarettes from 5th avenue’s S&J meat market.

It was there where S&J’s owners — one armed with a machete, the other armed with a 6 inch boning knife — would bring the crew’s crime spree to an abrupt halt, after both victims gave chase eventually apprehending two out of the three robbers.

One brother reportedly telling Fox Five News: ‘my knife was bigger than his knife… he was begging for the police.’

The third suspect was later apprehended by cops after the victims called him on a cell phone recovered from the scene.

For those of you who bet the long-shot in last year’s Bay Ridge cafe classic – looks like your ship has finally come in!
Less than a year after Starbucks launched its second 3rd avenue location, between 84th and 85th streets, the Seattle based coffee retailer has decided to close that location, citing profitability concerns amid a nationwide downsize of 600 stores.

The closing of this particular Starbucks — which opened mostly to rumblings and grumblings over what it would do to mom-n-pop businesses, such as its nearest competitor, beloved Caffe Cafe — is being greeted with cheers.

Count Mary Ann Kearns, owner of Caffe Cafe, among those in disbelief over the coffee giant’s demise; telling the Brooklyn Paper: “Without a doubt, I thought they would survive.”

Others aren’t happy about the demise of the rookie Starbucks – mainly people who enjoy sitting in large arm chairs, while frantically Instant Messaging their friends who are probably in the other Starbucks just down the road on 75th street, while they shop for flip-flops on JCrew, on a Mac Book clad in Barack Obama bumper-stickers, and really ‘interesting’ decals from ‘like old detergent boxes,’ while ‘rocking out’ to some bullshit passing for indie rock on Bose headphones.

Or, writers who wear crocs and pajamas to drink a chai latte…

ONLY KIDDING, LEFTY!

Anyway, apparently two dudes who really love that 85th street Starbucks started a petition to keep it open – we think they may have gotten even less signatures than Victoria Hofmo did to save the Green Church.

Brooklyn’s very own ‘Ice Cream Girl‘, Maria Campanella, along with State Senator Marty Golden, will be hosting her 2nd annual ice cream eating contest this Friday, July 25th, at Kingsborough Community College – benefiting 19 year-old Ciro Patalano, who is battling leukeamia.
Maria — known throughout Brooklyn, from Bay Ridge all the way to the Marlborough Projects — turned the ice cream business her father started 50 years ago, into a 4 wheel goodwill tour.

In 2004, the Bensonhurst native won the New York Post Liberty Medal for a lifetime of community service, having tirelessly devoted herself to causes such as the local Red Cross, Heart Share, and Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Maria is best known for being a bundle of energy, and devoted community volunteer; so much so that in 2005 Campanella was formally dubbed a goodwill ambassador by Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz.

According to the Brooklyn Paper -

“The carb-loading contest will be part of a “beach day” party, from 1 pm to 5 pm, on the beach at Kingsborough Community College, and will feature music by Staten Island DJ F2K and Italian ices from Marino’s.

There will be two rounds of ice cream eating, with a requirement of finishing three pints of Ben & Jerry’s in the first 15 minutes, so that only “the bruisers” go on to the second round.

“It’s going to be much stricter,” Campanella warned. “No one’s gonna be allowed to throw up and get back in the contest. Last time people were throwing up all over the place.”

More so than her banana splits or chocolate sundaes, Campanella has probably become best known for her youtube celebrity – having produced and starred in 16 YouTube videos (and counting).

Below, everything you always wanted to know about Maria Campanella.

As of 7am this morning, Con Edison is reportedly asking customers throughout Bay Ridge, Sunset Park, Borough Park, and Park Slope to cut use of non-essential electrical appliances, including air conditioning, while they deal with about 2,000 customers without power – due to equipment problems.
The affected area includes approximately 89,000 customers, and is bounded by 3rd and 4th Streets on the north, the Gowanus Canal on the west, and south and Fort Hamilton Parkway on the east.

According to Con Ed, the equipment problems in this area will not affect the rest of the Con Ed grid, and Con Ed remains in constant contact with the Office of Emergency Management.

Steve Harrison, local Bay Ridge attorney and democratic candidate for the 13th district — up for grabs since the May 1st DWI arrest of republican darling Vito Fossella unraveled a series of personal scandal that ended his re-election bid — is not phased by last Sunday’s endorsement of democratic rival Mike McMahon by Chuck Schumer.
Harrison, in an exclusive interview with the Brooklyn Paper, said he wasn’t surprised by the endorsement, actually expecting it considering McMahon and Schumer share a similar stance on energy policy – such as favoring off-shore drilling, and the use of nuclear power.

The latest endorsement is only the latest in a series of challenges faced by Harrison, who, since Fossella’s scandal put the seat in play, has battled internally within his own party for endorsements – first against Brooklyn city councilman Domenic Recchia, and now against the term limited Staten Island city councilman, Mike McMahon.

Harrison, who ran against Fossella in 2006 with virtually no help from the national democratic party — with a war chest only a fraction of that of his republican rival — came within 7 points of the Republican incumbent.

Harrison is not without his party’s support, and enjoys the endorsement of Democratic clubs such as the Central Brooklyn Independent Democrats, the Democratic Organization of Richmond County, and Progressive Democrats of America and Gloria Steinem.

Harrison came under fire by various veterans groups for his campaign’s ties to controversial activist and writer, Gloria Steinem, over remarks made about republican Presidential candidate John McCain’s time as a POW – calling it, ‘overrated.’

Harrison refused to distance himself from Steinem over the remarks, and some within the party speculate only fueled a polarizing dynamic at a time when Brooklyn Democrats so desperately want a slam-dunk win in the 13th district.

(photo courtesy: bluespotblog.com)

Is it a case of kids just doin’ the darndest things? Or, a precursor to a tangible uptick in local gang activity during this long hot summer?
This eyewitness account comes by way of one of our very own local bloggers, Brooklyn Row House, who witnessed the whole disarming incident go down:

“I was traveling down Ridge to Wakeman Place when a gang of at least a dozen kids (14 to 17 y/o, black and hispanic) ran into traffic carrying bats and chains. It looked like they were running from the park. Several cop cars intercepted them on Ridge. I couldn’t hang around to get the story.”

If accurate (and we fail to see any reason not to believe the above eyewitness account) it wouldn’t be the first such incident involving large clusters of local youths migrating to Owls Head Park, armed with various weapons, looking for a fight.

Owls Head is one of Bay Ridge’s most bucolic parks, which just last week was used as location for a motion picture shoot, and is a favorite destination among parents and children.

While it’s impossible to asses whether yesterday’s incident is indicative of any larger borough-wide surge in gang activity – it does mirror recent incidents (both in tone and feel) to that of machete wielding teens in Williamsburg, widely reported just last week by Gowanus Lounge and Gothamist.

(photo of the PLO Gang, courtesy Brooklyn Paper)

The ambitious 86th street water main and sewer reconstruction project which began last year, covering the stretch of 86th from Shore rd. to Gatling place, appears to be in its most agonizing phase yet.

Aside from stripping the usually log jammed 86th street shopping corridor between 4th and 5th avenue of all parking, the project — which promises to come in at an unusually expeditious deadline sometime later this year — has, in effect, become a 24 hour/7 day a week affair.

Resulting, as demonstrated by the above home video, in no rest for the weary Bay Ridgite.

Sunday, the senior Senator from New York, Charles Schumer, briefly stopped in Bay Ridge to endorse Democratic candidate for the 13th congressional district – Mike McMahon.
McMahon, a Staten Island councilman who picked up a large block of endorsements from Democratic clubs in Staten Island and Brooklyn, was on hand to receive Schumer’s backing just steps away from Bay Ridge’s most prominent landmark – the Owls Head sewer treatment plant.

After Senator Schumer relayed a touching personal narrative about how he once rode his bike through Bay Ridge and had to call 311 because it was so dirty, he lavished the Staten Island councilman with such high praise as he “gets it…”

“he is… just who he is.. and, so I have nothign bad to say about other candidates… This guy’s got it.”

After calling the term-limited Staten Island councilman “extraordinary,” Schumer and McMahon made a similar stop in Staten Island.

McMahon is running in a primary battle against local Bay Ridge attorney and long time civic leader, Steve Harrison, who ran a fierce campaign against Fossella in 2006 – coming within less than 10points of the Republican incumbant.

Since the Fossella scandal broke in early may local Democrats have scrambled to secure a candidate they see as a ‘lock’ for the 13th district seat – the only remaining congressional seat left in New York City .

Gothamist newsmap reports shots fired at 66th street and 4th avenue, around 8pm – about a block away from the 68th precinct.