In today’s Daily News, January Hogan, a Bay Ridge Mother of two charges local cops in the 68 with joyriding on a 79th street ball field.

Photos include Mrs. Hogan standing at the scene of the alleged shenanigans, and another of a what’s said to be “evidence of car tire tracks” in a patch of dirt.

Except they don’t look anything like tire marks!

So what explains the dirt tracks in deep right field, coach!?

Crop Circles?

Bigfoot!?

We’re conflicted, people!

Torn between the satisfaction that comes from making lame jokes about fat cops who eat doughnuts, and the truth!

Screw it, who cares!

Thank you for giving us cops AND doughnuts in the same sentence, Daily News!

from News 9 Perth: Cop canned for doing donuts on film!

(photo courtesy: Showaltzer of the Daily News)