So… CNN’s Jessica Yellin is a hologram.

Wolf Blitzer may or may not be real.

And Candy Crowly will probably still eye CNN political analyst Paul Begala like the last piece of chicken franchaise at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Welcome to election night coverage in America.

BLOWS!

Hey, live blog this crap here, why dont ya?

America’s hopes and dreams basically hinge on the next few hours.

If Barack Obama wins, it’s been said he’ll take your guns, home, salary, women, sexuality – tax your carbon footprint, and talk to Iran.

If McCain wins, however, we’ll be in Iraq for a 100 years, and bomb Iran.

BUT, he wont raise your taxes, AND has already promised to give ‘the gays’ the right to enter into mutually agreed upon contracts for long term relationship misery.

Nutty.