So… CNN’s Jessica Yellin is a hologram.

Wolf Blitzer may or may not be real.

And Candy Crowly will probably still eye CNN political analyst Paul Begala like the last piece of chicken franchaise at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Welcome to election night coverage in America.

BLOWS!

Hey, live blog this crap here, why dont ya?

America’s hopes and dreams basically hinge on the next few hours.

If Barack Obama wins, it’s been said he’ll take your guns, home, salary, women, sexuality – tax your carbon footprint, and talk to Iran.

If McCain wins, however, we’ll be in Iraq for a 100 years, and bomb Iran.

BUT, he wont raise your taxes, AND has already promised to give ‘the gays’ the right to enter into mutually agreed upon contracts for long term relationship misery.

Nutty.

A ‘concerned Bay Ridge native‘ writes to inform us that Dunkin’ Donuts is believed to be spying the old offices of Dimitri Realty at 9000 3rd ave – a block down from ‘Little Cup Cake Bake Shop’ – and he’s not going to take it lying down.
Our tipster goes on to write a serious call to arms against the munchkin franchise, saying:

“We must prevent this disgusting franchise from littering our Streets. Isn’t it enough that they already have the homeless shelter they call a Dunkin Donuts on 4th Ave? This would truly be the beginning of the end of our mom and pop, independently owned, unique retailers row that is our 3rd Ave. We cannot afford to stand by and let our 3rd Ave become another 86th Street. Is there anything we can do as a community to stop this travesty? I know, I myself can rally about 300 people to sign a petition to prevent this stain on our quaint and lovely streets. We’ve prevented certain bars from opening in the past, why not do the same in regards to this cesspool for junkies?”

*whoa*

anywaaaaaaaaaay….

If there’s any truth to the rumor, would make for the second Dunkin’ Donuts in a three block radius – the third this side of 86th – with the largest being the 24 hour D&D on 92nd and 4th: Notorious for its colorful array of denizens, convenient parking and proximity to Kelly’s Tavern.

Saturday night truly became a ‘Day for the Dead’ in Bay Ridge when a 17 yr-old valet parking attendant from the Pearl Room restaurant was crushed to death when attempting to shuffle his charge of cars – amid what was otherwise a bustling 3rd avenue bar scene, full of adult Halloween revelers – reports the Daily News and NY Post.
Mousa Ajhami, a freshman at College of Staten Island and amateur body builder, was crushed when he got out of a mini-van he was parking only to not have applied the brake and, in his attempt to stop the mini-van from rolling, was crushed to death between a Pathfinder and a Dodge Caravan sometime after 12pm – just feet from the Pearl Room and a bustling 3rd avenue full of post Halloween revelers. Mousa was transported to Lutheran where he was pronounced dead.

The shuffling of double parked cars on side streets by valet companies employed by our most popular local restaurants has been a longstanding issue for local residents, concerned over safety of pedestrians, and the availability of already scarce parking.

(photo courtesy: NY Daily News)

Tomorrow, November 4th, voters throughout Bay Ridge will cast their ballots, and watch — no doubt in a semi-recumbent position with the beverage of their choice — as the rest of America chooses its 44th President.

Sunday, November 2nd, marks the running of the 38th annual NYC Marathon, which will take runners from their Fort Wadsworth staging area in Staten Island, across the Verrazano Bridge, and into the open embrace of Bay Ridge – as runners enter the first leg of the 26.2 mile race.

Among the 100,000 runners will be Bay Ridge’s own, NYC Firefighter, Matthew Long.

Three years ago while riding his bike to work at the Randall’s Island FDNY training facility during the NYC Transit strike, Long was critically injured when hit by a charter bus carrying Bear Stern employees, crushing Long’s pelvis and leg – leaving him with what, at the time, was a a grim prognosis for survival, much less recovery.

After a grueling three year rehab stint, nearly a month of which was spent in a coma – Long will run Sunday’s 26.2 mile race.

“I wanted to be an athlete again and I wanted to be myself again… I’m not looking to be a hero, but I know I can be a role model,” Long tells the Daily News.

Long, whose accident left him with one leg 3/4 of an inch shorter than the other, walks with a pronounced limp, but Long has successfully regained his endurance, and began running in Arizona this past April.

Long is the son of Kings County Conservative Party chairman, and renowned Bay Ridge civic leader, Michael Long.

The ING NYC Marathon kicks off for professional men’s elite around 9:30am, with an early start for disabled runners beginning as early as 7:30am – of which Long is expected to be a part, according to the Eagle.

(photos courtesy: elbarriosbravest.com, and NYDailyNews)